Former Navy Officer Leads the Way to Change – One Conversation at a Time
When the world remains busy discussing COVID-19 and its implications on planet Earth, a Veteran Navy Officer stays busy organising constructive and healthy discussions every Tuesday evening.
Called “Terrific Tuesday’s Conversations That Don’t Happen”, these Zoom sessions are organised to ensure that they have a far-reach impact to transform India into a society that bridges the gap between young adults and the generations before that.
The last Tuesday Conversation was “Consent, Love, Romance & Sex” where the Special Guest Speaker was the “Love Sex aur Dhokha” Actor Amar Jeet,.
The actor spoke about the thin line that separates consent, love, romance and sex and highlighted how consent was grossly misunderstood and conveyed unrealistically in films. He advised the young adults to not believe everything in films and to make educated decisions on what is portrayed.
Sandhya Suri also discussed what Love and even Romance is and how it evolves with time. She also questioned the premise that people believe they are in essentially in love when they have Sex. “Love is more cosmic, more universal than we believe it to be. As we evolve, we understand that love can be existent even without a relationship. Relationships require effort. Love is effortless.”
Participants who attended the session also spoke openly on the subject and shared their diverse thoughts on the topic. What is remarkable about the Session is that there was acceptance of diversified views among participants who came from all ages and belonged to different locations, some cities, some small towns.
While some said that there is a need to have some kind of connect before you engage with a person physically, others confided that it happens when there is chemistry and is not always planned.
Ananya, one of the participants, said, “Emotional connection is what some people look for before getting intimate,” to which Rakshith added “It happens, but you can’t plan it, not always. That is not how it works.”
A few of the participants discussed how sex makes a spiritual connection and hence people need to stay open with their children on the same. What came out as a prominent point of discussion was that parents need to be more open to what their young adult children are going through and be listeners and not reactive. Saif, a regular at the Conversations said, “We should make more effort to ensure change comes and that children, especially teenagers and young adults find these forums to clear their confusion. Honestly and frankness can save a lot of heartache.”
Aware that some participants may wish to remain anonymous but also put across their views, Sandhya also encourages participants to send their thoughts to her on chat privately which she reads out and shares with the audience.
It was very interesting to note that some of the participants have been attending the “Conversations That Don’t Happen” right from the very first Episode. One of the regulars Charu said, “Even if it changes one person’s thinking, this is worth it.”
The other participants discussed how sex makes a spiritual connection and hence people need to stay open with our children on the same.
The Episode came up as an open conversation on clearing a few doubts, figuring out what people see, perceive and understand about these terms. Do we have any solution? “Are we willing to change perspectives?” were some of the questions asked in the discussions.
“I had been thinking about this for a long time. When I grew up, there was nobody to talk to about things that confused me, which I needed clarity on. Some of them involved more serious things like abuse and even something as simple as peer pressure. With the growing numbers of anxiety, depression and suicides of young adults, I felt I didn’t just want to post on Social Media and rant about it. There was a better way to go about it. There was a need to talk about it without getting at each others throat or yelling and abusing.”
“That is how we began. I have Sumesh Chhabra (who hosted the session) and Juhi (who usually moderates) helping me out and we call ourselves the Terrific Team. We started with a test pilot Episode on Friendship and Relationships and then launched our first episode with Harish Iyer, the human rights activist, as our Special Guest Speaker. We may not have huge numbers right now, but I am glad it is happening. Our second episode was on how women need to change the way they communicate. The third one was on the millennial perspective and that really caught on.”
When asked what kind of topics are the upcoming conversations about, she smiles and says, “The next one is on gaslighting. We are talking about peer pressure which will be followed by body shaming, privacy and space…the list is endless. I have topics right up to the last Tuesday of this year and then some more. I pick it from the discussions that happen online here and there, some turn nasty and we want to turn that around, one conversation at a time.”
The crux of the discussion in the last episode was ‘Consent is mandatory, else it is abuse, Love is an ability, Romance is not ‘Just Sex’ and Sex is not Wham Bam Thank you!
The session was hosted by Sumesh while the Speaker and moderator was Sandhya Suri, who is a change enabler, an author, a poet and a speaker and yes, a Navy Veteran too!